Bring on electric cars. I love good cars, by that I mean ones with character and style and guts, not something that looks like it should be in Postman Pat.
Style is not something that can be expressed by car designers as a bubble on four wheels, that’s just taking the piss. What was the wind tunnel model for that? A snooker ball? Ahhh, but it’s economical. Economical = no fucking balls and shit acceleration. Yes acceleration DOES NOT = Speed. That much I remember from physics.
These are “town cars” supposedly, so why the fuck do I encounter them on the slipway of major motorways entering 70mph traffic at 40? GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY. Oh, and while I think of it, if there are two lanes on a slipway, and you are in the left hand lane, that does not give you carte blanche to veer across into the right hand lane when you have another 240 yards of left hand lane. At 40mph. Directly into my path. You are in my fucking lane.
Anyway, electric cars. Like I said I like cars with guts, so why electric? Two reasons:
Really? environmental? You tree hugger! Nope. Despite attempts to silence people via censorship (a bit fascistic) who disagree with the prevailing twittermob about global warming, and despite the lack of any nuance about it (global warming may actually be happening, but may not be due to human activity as the models used are so mind bendingly complex no-one can understand them)
I am in favour because of pollution. No, not that kind, stupid, where do you think the power from the electricity socket comes from? (hint: Chernobyl, Dounray, Sizewell) I am talking about a totally different kind of pollution. The one that no-one gives a fuck about despite repeated studies showing ill effects.
Electric cars are on the whole, silent. They are so silent that some morons have suggested that they actually need to have an artificial sound so that twerps who aren’t lookng at anything apart from their phones don’t get mown down.
I have a better idea.
Learn how to cross the road, pay attention to your surroundings and don’t expect anyone else to be responsible for your public safety. That’s it. Lift your head up from your thought-controlling tracking device. Stop renaging on the social contract.
This morning from 6:30am onwards, it was bedlam outside my home. In fact the Normandy landings (World War Two, millenials, it was a thing, OK?) was probably quieter. I’m pretty sure you could have driven a tank division down the road outside and it would have been quieter.
Humans are idiots, it has been proven when they are in large groups individual responsibility for moral conduct flies out of the window and mob rule prevails. At a lower level that rioting, this means that as people get louder, others get louder and louder and louder. It’s a phenomenon you may have witnessed in a crowded room, that crescendo of rhubarb.
That’s how it is, cars trucks and buses get loud, people get louder, other people get louder, and then you have traffic roaring past and whole groups of people shouting over themselves.
Electric cars have no gearbox, so goodbye shit acceleration even in the “ball” cars.
Electric cars make no noise, so goodbye overrevved renault twingo and hopefully no-one will need to scream and shout over the non-existant engine noise, and no need to nail a baked bean can on to the exhaust of mum’s Nova.
Lets’s shut the fuck up and have some stylish gutsy electric cars.
Bring ‘em on.