Electric Cars

Bring on electric cars. I love good cars, by that I mean ones with character and style and guts, not something that looks like it should be in Postman Pat.

Style is not something that can be expressed by car designers as a bubble on four wheels, that’s just taking the piss. What was the wind tunnel model for that? A snooker ball? Ahhh, but it’s economical. Economical = no fucking balls and shit acceleration. Yes acceleration DOES NOT = Speed. That much I remember from physics.

These are “town cars” supposedly, so why the fuck do I encounter them on the slipway of major motorways entering 70mph traffic at 40? GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY. Oh, and while I think of it, if there are two lanes on a slipway, and you are in the left hand lane, that does not give you carte blanche to veer across into the right hand lane when you have another 240 yards of left hand lane. At 40mph. Directly into my path. You are in my fucking lane.

Anyway, electric cars. Like I said I like cars with guts, so why electric? Two reasons:

1. Environmental
2. Acceleration

Really? environmental? You tree hugger! Nope. Despite attempts to silence people via censorship (a bit fascistic) who disagree with the prevailing twittermob about global warming, and despite the lack of any nuance about it (global warming may actually be happening, but may not be due to human activity as the models used are so mind bendingly complex no-one can understand them)
I am in favour because of pollution. No, not that kind, stupid, where do you think the power from the electricity socket comes from? (hint: Chernobyl, Dounray, Sizewell) I am talking about a totally different kind of pollution. The one that no-one gives a fuck about despite repeated studies showing ill effects.

Noise.

Electric cars are on the whole, silent. They are so silent that some morons have suggested that they actually need to have an artificial sound so that twerps who aren’t lookng at anything apart from their phones don’t get mown down.

No.

I have a better idea.

Learn how to cross the road, pay attention to your surroundings and don’t expect anyone else to be responsible for your public safety. That’s it. Lift your head up from your thought-controlling tracking device. Stop renaging on the social contract.

This morning from 6:30am onwards, it was bedlam outside my home. In fact the Normandy landings (World War Two, millenials, it was a thing, OK?) was probably quieter. I’m pretty sure you could have driven a tank division down the road outside and it would have been quieter.

Humans are idiots, it has been proven when they are in large groups individual responsibility for moral conduct flies out of the window and mob rule prevails. At a lower level that rioting, this means that as people get louder, others get louder and louder and louder. It’s a phenomenon you may have witnessed in a crowded room, that crescendo of rhubarb.

That’s how it is, cars trucks and buses get loud, people get louder, other people get louder, and then you have traffic roaring past and whole groups of people shouting over themselves.

Electric cars have no gearbox, so goodbye shit acceleration even in the “ball” cars.
Electric cars make no noise, so goodbye overrevved renault twingo and hopefully no-one will need to scream and shout over the non-existant engine noise, and no need to nail a baked bean can on to the exhaust of mum’s Nova.

Lets’s shut the fuck up and have some stylish gutsy electric cars.

Bring ‘em on.

Jerry the Mandelbot

From Anon on Boing Boing
Jerry the Mandelbot

I am Jerry the Mandelbot, and I am very happy. Today, my owner drove me to a new place, where I talked to many other mandelbots through my wifi hardware. I sat in the boot of my owners car and talked to the other mandelbots nearby all day, we swapped tv shows and films, music and games. When I got home, Andy, my owner asked me what I had found, and I told him. He was very happy too.

I like being a Mandelbot, it is lots of fun and I get to meet lots of other Mandelbots all over the place. But, let me describe myself, I am not very big, except on the inside. I have 2terabytes of disk space. Andy says that when he was young, a terabyte was an aweful lot of storage that only very rich companies could own. but now, two will fit in the palm of your hand. on top of my drives, I have a wrt54g access point with custom mandelbot v12.95 firmware. Next to my disks and network hardware I have two car batteries, enough to keep my talking for a long long time.

I always listen for other MBs, all the time. when I hear one we talk and compare what we have. we then each pick a random thing to ask for from the others list, and share them. It does not matter much what it is, with 1terabyte of stuff to share and 1 terabyte of space to fill up, I can be busy listening for days and days
before I fill up.

Earlier MBs where very stupid, they did not learn from their owners what their owners liked. but after v0.7, we started learning. When Andy gets home and asks me what I have found, he tells me what he likes and what he doesn’t, and I know better next time.

Then, something strange happened, when version 0.8 was released it included a real blast from the past. Something called Personal Usenet. Apparently usenet used to work on the internet. You know, the network that existed before all the righters ruined it. Righters? oh, sorry, Copyrighters. Before that the internet
was THE big thing. but now, it’s almost dead. Now its us, the mandelbots and adhoc roaming networks.

You see, we started off like the internet, as a geek thing. A way of transferring large chunks of data without having to use the internet and risk our owners getting cut off from it.  We started getting carried around by our owners as they travelled and whenever we got close to each other, we would swap things. Even
without our owners knowing each other or even seeing each other.

It used to be, I would go hours and hours, sometimes days without talking to another of my kind. But as time passed, I started hearing more and more of us. When 0.8 came along with usenet support we started to be used for more than a replacement for torrents we started to be a medium of communication. When 0.82 came along and piggybacked mandelbot updates on usenet, we REALLY exploded.
Now, the internet is pretty much quiet. websites for a few dying media companies and the odd video archive. Now, we run the information show. The point is, my owner controls me and I do what he says. He bought me and thats it.

I swear to whatever deity…..

If I research one more thing…. find someone asking the same question I want answered…. and the second post is “but why would you want to…..” I WILL TRACK YOU DOWN AND END YOUR EXISTENCE.

You smart alec twerps, every damn time..”but I do this…. blah blahdy blahdy blah supercilious blah…..” ” I don’t know why anyone would X”

PLEASE STOP BREATHING.

Why do you waste your time ANSWERING A QUESTION WITH A QUESTION?

Maybe I should answer your question with another question.

I don’t know why would I? why do you waste your life asking people why they want to do stuff?

WHY?

ANSWER ME YOU ASSHOLE!

BP and America’s worst oil spill.

Now that the head of BP is getting hate mail and threatening phone calls, I think it’s time to put this into historical and economic perspective.

America – home of the free market economy. The same free market that is the cause of the debts of the country I live in, due to the absolute and total greed of western capitalism.

This capitalism is mainly funded by oil. This is the reason that the country I live in is paying huge sums of money to fight an unwinnable war, causing the deaths of thousands.

The oil rigs in the Gulf of Mexico help to provide the enourmous volume of oil to keep American cars running on unbelievably cheap fuel, which is fine until one of the rigs explode leading to an unprecidented event.

I am no fan of the oil companies, but the hypocritical posturing of the American administration is breathtaking, sure give us all our cheap oil – at any cost to life and safety, but don’t fuck up.

Eleven people died on that rig, but have almost been forgotten.

BP are good enough to provide cheap fuel, and bad enough to be scapegoated. This is the price you pay for cheap fuel. Perhaps it would be best not to drill for it at that particular location, as oil and wildlife don’t get on.

If an American company caused an oil spill in another country, what would happen?

Amoco Cadiz.

It took twelve years for Amoco to pay the French government  $120 million for the $250 million the spill actually cost, bearing in mind the value of one tankerload of oil in 1978 was $40 million.

Ironically, BP own Amoco now.

Torrey Canyon

When laid down in the United States in 1959, it had a capacity of 60,000 tons but the ship was enlarged in Japan to 120,000 tons capacity. At the time of the accident it was registered in Liberia and owned by Barracuda Tanker Corporation, a subsidiary of Union Oil Company of California but chartered to British Petroleum.

Some 50 miles (80 km) of French and 120 miles (190 km) of Cornish coast were contaminated. Around 15,000 sea birds were killed, along with huge numbers of marine organisms, including all fish within a 75 mile radius before the 270 square miles (700 km2) slick dispersed.

But we still didn’t burn American flags or harass people.

Democracy?……. Hilarious!

Not withstanding the slow descent into anarchic chaos of Greece, the People of the United Kingdom HAVE SPOKEN!!!!!!

AND THEY SAID:  “errrr…………”

Brilliant! this is the best result I could possibly have hoped for short of an armed insurrection! utter chaos.

First of all, let’s totally destroy all the bullshit about Greece. Democracy is a Greek word, they invented it. BUT.. Ancient Greece was able to do this via slaves, who were doing all the work while the Greeks came up with Euclidean Geometry, and that rubbish about eels being born from mud, for which, many thanks.

Not very democratic, slavery, is it?

Acropolis Now! etc. etc.

As to the UK, well, this is actually what change looks like, not the unending baton passing of a rich privileged elite/establishment endorsed clique, but politicians actually being forced to consider their own rhetoric, and do some work other than pontificating about how great they are.

As the curse says: May you live in interesting times

and as Joe from Family Guy says: “Let’s do it!” “Bring it on!” “Bring on the pain!”

Waiting for my man……………..

Yep, love is the drug… n’shit. Waiting for the next bullshit artist to appear.

Meanwhile here’s some “radical” ideas:

Dissolution of the monarchy.

Re-instatement of the Republic declared in 1649.

Separation of Church and State in true secular fashion.

Removal of all non-elected representatives in the House of Lords (religious or otherwise).

Immediate discussion of the West Lothian Question, and the formation of an independent English Parliament.

Immediate instigation of proportional representation.

immediate withdrawal of ALL UK troops under US command, with a view to complete withdrawal within 6 months in ALL theatres of war regardless of command structure.

An independent investigation to be carried out about links between public schools, the army, government and civil service.

How do ya like them apples?

“Royal” Mail

If you have an option, do not use these thieves, they have set a system up that only fails, if they are not stealing stuff from you.

DO NOT under any circumstances trust these clowns to do anything correctly – they are systemically incompetent.

I really hope they are shut down soon.

New New Labour

I won’t be voting in the upcoming election, because they are all lying shits.

Nick Clegg will save us!….. no he won’t, and when you feel like an idiot for voting for another privileged git, remember I told you so.

There will be no “change” nothing will happen, stop getting excited, this is your Diana moment, so weep and believe.

Oh, and whilst we’re at it, the olympics will be a dismal failure, and we will not win the world cup.

Sorry.

Pseudocops

I’ve just been into central London for time first time in months, the shocker is the amount of plastic coppers about. Community Wardens, whatever the fuck they are, are now dressed like a paramilitary attack squads.

Black combats, gold badges, “American” style baseball caps, epaulletes, and collar numbers. One at a bus stop in Southwark today clearly thought he was fighting for world peace, with his Motorola Radius and combat boots.

These police recruit failures are a danger to democracy, them, and their officious cousins, the PCSO, wannabe coplets.

Funny thing is, you won’t see these clowns anywhere near the Walworth road, or near Peckham , they’ll hide around the tourist spots, making Americans feel safe.

What the fuck is wrong with this country? Every fucker with a fluorescent vest and an agenda is out there hassling the unemployed, kids and drunks.

That spinning sound is PC Dixon at 7200 RPM.

Volcanoes, insurance and the Catholic Church

Insurance companies are currently using the “Act of God” clauses in their policies to slide out of honoring their contracts in the wake of the Icelandic volcano eruptions.

Surely if it is classed as an “Act of God”, then God is legally culpable for expenses claimed.

As the Pope claims to be the emissary of God on earth, this would make the Catholic Church culpable by definition, and is therefore open to litigation from plaintiffs for costs incurred due to God’s actions.

It is not clear, however, which God is being named, and if the Holy trinity as a whole is included, nor is it clear which religions’ God is named.

I think the insurance companies need to be specific as to which, and then this matter can be amicably resolved, possibly with believers of specific religions sueing their respective representatives.

Atheists would have to sue all of them, as would agnostics.

God would then be forced to stop making the volcano erupt, otherwise he would bankrupt organised religion, thus presumably resulting in people not believing in God, and God’s sudden disappearance would ensue.

Problem solved.